TRADITIONS
by Precious Pup
Summary: Tony takes Ziva over to break into McGees apartment. They end up overhearing something they shouldn't. Caution Implied sex no actual. Longish one shot tiny epiloge?
1. Chapter 1

'Come on Ziiii vaaaaa, It's tradition, every member of the team must break into McGeek's apartment at least once, to see him in his natural habitat so to speak. I can't believe we haven't done it already after all this time.' Tony dragged Ziva down the hallway to McGee apartment. 'Come on it will be fun!'

'Fun for who Tony? I really don't think McGee is going to appreciate this. He is a very private person.' 'Ha! That is exactly the point'. Tony smiled his most winning grin at the dark haired woman following behind him. 'Haven't you ever wondered what it is he is hiding? Hummm? The reality is that he is boring and hiding nothing but one day Ziva, one day I will discover the Mother load and then you will be glad you were here.'

Ziva leaned against the door frame as Tony sank to his haunches and took out his lock pick tools from his jacket pocket and leaned close to the door.

_Oh My God! Oh MY God, Oh My God, your amazing oh Tim Tim Timmmmmmm Oh My God I can't oh Wow Oh My God!!!! _

Tony reared back in shock as the muffled sound of a woman's voice found it way through the solid nearly sound proof apartment door. He stared up at Ziva, eyes wide.

'You didn't hear that did you?' 'Oh yes, I most certainly did' Ziva smiled and proceeded to lean closer to the edge of the door. 'That wasn't what I think it was? Was it? Ziva?' Tony pleaded. 'Certainly sounded like it' Ziva's voice was quiet as she strained to hear more.

The sound of the woman's cries had only increased in volume and was now accompanied by the rather distinctive rhythmic thumping. 'Is that, the sound of a headboard against a wall?' Tony whispered horrified, turning his head slightly and finding nothing but a thick fall of black hair as Ziva leaned ever closer to the door.

'Well certainly sounds like someone is having fun at' Ziva whispered, checking her watch 'at 3.00 pm on a Sunday afternoon.' She beamed at Tony 'You know this is already proving VERY enlightening Tony, you were right. Thank you. It does help to know as much as you can about your fellow team members as right now it seems that McGee is certainly capable of …….'

'Ziva uggggg Please, please don't say it. This is Probie we are talking about! McGee? Yecccchhhhhhh' Tony shivered again. 'It's disgusting! It's like listening to your parents having sex. It's just not right'.

'Why? Ziva whispered 'He is not unattractive, he is single, clean, intelligent, wealthy and considerate, and it is highly probable he is going to have sex at some stage'. 'Yes' Tony turned, his face serious as he tried to impart his wisdom to his companion ,' but he should be having quiet, simple, boring missionary position sex with a nice, polite, glasses wearing, dull librarian or something not, not' Tony waved his hand to indicated the faint screaming still going on somewhere behind the door. 'Not wild, wall shaking, three o'clock in the afternoon orgasmic sex?' Ziva replied not succeeding in keeping the smile from her face. 'Exactly' Tony stated simply.' I'm glad you understand, Ziva'

'Tony, do you realise that a moment earlier and we would have been, well you know IN his apartment while he would have been IN, well you know.' She waggled her eyebrows suggestively while Tony shot to his feet and clapped his hand over her mouth. 'Shhhhhh, I don't want him to hear you'. 'Mmmennsmer tthhhhatshsd hehe shh ddodufufgdf 'was all Ziva could muster.

'Oh yech, Ziva you licked my hand!!!' Tony released Ziva and wiped his hand down his jacket 'What? Well you shouldn't cover my mouth.' 'Shhhhh' Tony said again quietly pressing up against Ziva by the side of McGee door 'Anyway I don't think Tim could hear anything over all that noise. Phew and I thought I was loud'. Ziva replied.

'Realllllly?' Tony drawled leering down at his companion, before receiving an elbow into his ribs. 'I think it would be a good idea that we go now as it seems to be as they say, sketching to a close? Ziva looked to Tony for confirmation. 'Drawing, Ziva, drawing to a close and yes I think it is a VERY good idea.' Tony turned to head off down the hallway.

_OH MY GOD!!!!! TIM!!!!!!_ The woman shrieked again before the sound of a muffled crash and heavy gasps. The rhythmic thumping stopped simultaneously and then an instant later as if to prove it wasn't just some strange apartment mix up or case of mistaken identity they could hear the sound of Tim's breathless laugh.

'Ok now is definitely the time to go'. Tony tugged on Ziva arm. 'But it is just getting interesting. Umm I always thought that Abby was the wild one when they were together but maybe I had it wrong?' Tony made retching, gagging noises at the thought of a 'Wild' Tim and Abby lab session and turned and began to pull Ziva down the hall way. Ziva complained, dragging her feet 'You were the one to bring me here to find out more and I am definitely finding out a LOT more about him'.

'Yes, but that was when I thought I might be able to humiliate him with something not listen to him have Wild Sex!' Tony loudly stage whispered back to Ziva after having made only a few feet away from the door dragging his reluctant partner.

But suddenly Ziva's eyes grew wide. 'Again??' She breathed 'Tony, come here'. 'What?' Tony whined 'I want to go!" Ziva grabbed Tony shoulder and shoved him against the side of the door. 'What?' 'Just listen!' Tony's mouth dropped open.

_I'm coming? I'm coming I'm coming Oh My God Tim you are so amazzzziiinnnggggggt!!!! I'm coming I'm coming_ came the sound of a second woman's voice much higher and sweeter than the first and accompanied by the familiar thumping noise.

Tony and Ziva started at each other as the first woman joined in the ruckus along with Tim whose lower muffled voice seemed to be saying something, they couldn't quite make out. Tony and Ziva strained to hear, both kneeling, their ears pressed to the door of the apartment. In another instant there was a series of different loud thumps and what could only be descried as loud panting.

Tony, his face a picture of pure shock held up two fingers and stared silently at the woman next to him. Ziva simply shrugged and tried to move even closer to the door in an effort to find out more of the gory details.

'Right that is it. I am not staying here to listen to listen to anymore of this. It is going to be hard enough as it is to face him tomorrow morning without him knowing that we were here listening. And what were planning on doing even before that!' Tony said in his best stage whisper before grabbing Ziva's shoulder and began steering her down the hallway.

'But' Ziva interrupted 'Lalalalalalalalalalalalalal' Tony clapped his hands over his ears 'I don't want to hear any more. I am going and you came with me so if you want a ride.'

'But' Ziva said 'Lalalalalalalalala' Tony put his hands over his ears again. 'It is going to take me the rest of the evening just to cleanse my mind of this, this INCIDENT as it is so can we please just GO!'

'Ok ok I didn't pick you for the squeamish type, Tony. As Tony and Ziva made for the entrance to the apartment complex Tony turned and holding Ziva by the shoulders looked deep into her eyes. 'Ziva, I need you to promise me that we will never mention this incident again? Got it I mean EVER! It Never Happened!' Tony spoke slowly emphasising every word.

'Yes Tony, I can see that it disturbs you but I am not promising for you but for McGee. He is my friend and would be very upset to have his privacy invaded. Beside I have more than enough to think about now. Thank you for this very informative trip Tony. You were right, I was glad I was here with you.' She smiled cheekily up to Tony who just groaned and strode to where he had parked the car trying in vain to smother the sounds in his head of two different woman having what sounded like very satisfying sex AT THE SAME TIME with his younger, baby faced and generally considered naïve team mate.

FIFTEEN MINUTES EARLIER

Tim smiled as he handed Sarah the envelope and pulled her into a hug. 'Happy Birthday little sis'. 'Ohh an envelope? Gee Tim you shouldn't have' Sarah sarcastically replied. 'Hey, that's your present and given the cost probably your Christmas, next birthday and probably next Christmas present as well.' Tim tried to look firm but he had planned this gift for his temperamental sister for some time and he was hoping he had got it right.

'Expensive huh?' Her interest piqued, Sarah opened the large envelope and tipped into her hand the several paper items inside.

Tim smiled as his sister started practically screaming with delight .Oh My God! Oh MY God, Oh My God, your amazing oh Tim Tim Timmmmmmm Oh My God I can't oh Wow Oh My God!!!!

Her voice dropped to a whisper as she turned to her friend Tegan who had accompanied her over to her brother's house after a girly Sunday Birthday lunch together. 'Front row Justin Timberlake tickets for the Madison Square Garden Concert? First class tickets for a long weekend return flight to New York? A thousand dollars spending money? A penthouse hotel suite? Oh Oh My God! Oh MY God, Oh My God, you are the best the Best I can't believe it Ahhhhhhhh'

Sarah, overcome with excitement leaped up and started jumping up and down on Tim's bed like she used to do when she was little. Admittedly, then he was normally in the bed and she was doing her best to crush his head but still Tim couldn't help but smile.

'Well I have a bit more money at the money so who else am I to spoil?' The jumping up and down and excited screaming went on for some minutes while Tim tried to calm Sarah down off the bed. She suddenly jumped down with a thump knocking over the bedside lamp in the process and ran over to him and gave him a big bone crushing hug leaving him breathless.

'You are truly the best big brother ever- no matter what I might have said in the past.' she smiled up at him, her hand over her heart in the familiar gesture they had used when younger to indicate total honesty. Tim simply laughed and ruffled her hair. 'I think I prefer you sarcastic and mean. This being nice to me thing is kind of throwing me off.'

After a moments pause, he smiled at Tegan, his sisters current best friend and then down at Sarah. 'So who are you going to take with you? There are two tickets and two seats booked for the flights you know'.

'Who am I…..? 'With a delighted gasp Sarah turned to Tegan who had been smiling excitedly at her friend's exuberant display. 'You'll come with me won't you, Tegan?

'What?' Tegan gaped 'I can come to the concert with you? To New York for a three day weekend? To shop and order room service and spend your thousand bucks?!!!' Suddenly Sarah grasped her friend by the forearms and hauled her onto Tim's bed and they both started jumping up and down like crazed excited toddlers.

This time it was Tegan who surprised delight was articulated in a sort of chant of 'I'm coming? I'm coming I'm coming Oh My God Tim you are so amazzzziiinnnggggggt!!!! I'm coming I'm coming.'

Tim couldn't help but laugh again. Well this present had certainly met with all expectations and as long as his bed could handle the punishment it would be well worth it. He tried to coax the girls off the bed, with some concern about the strain on the frame and was met with the juggernaut of the two of them leaping down and enveloping him in an excited hug which left them all breathless.

'Ok so Happy Birthday Sarah, your welcome Tegan and do you two plan on staying around for dinner or do you have better invitations?' Tim stepped back smiling, regaining control of his small apartment.


	2. Epilogue

Monday Morning

'So McGeek, how was your weekend?' Tony's eyes slid sideways to observe McGee as they travelled up to work in the lift. 'Oh you know same old, same old' Tim replied with a smile, still pleased with how his present had been received.

Ziva standing on the other side on McGee leaned back and grinned at Tony behind McGee back. 'Really McGee?' Ziva politely enquired. 'No plans at all over the ENTIRE weekend?' There was something in the way she was asking the question but Tim couldn't tell what it was. He was sure whatever it was would be made clear to him later so he didn't worry about it.

"Well I wrote a little, answered some fan mail, signed off on some German release cover artwork, got groceries, spent some time on my computer, had a couple of people over Sunday. You know stuff.'

'Nothing exciting then?' Ziva continued to dig while Tony shut his eyes tight not really wanting to know but still being unable to resist.

'Well I did have to go plead my case in front of the Tenants Board. A complaint was laid against me, again and they asked me to explain my actions. But I think I have it sorted out now.'

'And what sort of complaint was that, McGee? I would have thought you would be the perfect tenant. I mean you aren't really even at home much.' Ziva's eyes gleamed and she moved in for the kill.

'Actually I have had some noise complaints laid against me by a couple of the neighbours. Well I do try and keep it down, but you know. It happens.'

Tim sighed as he thought about the new, almost silent paper shredder he had brought at some ridiculous expense just so he could work at night, when the late hours after a difficult case would keep him awake. He had received it via special delivery Sunday evening and already had it set up next to his desk.

Really? You're noisy? Exactly how many complaints have they received? Surely not many? Ziva leaned in encouraging Tim to talk.

'Two hundred and sixty two apparently, over the last six months. I'm lucky they haven't asked me to leave. But I think after Sunday night I have it all sorted.' Tim smiled and stepped out of the elevator leaving Tony and Ziva staring open mouthed after him.

'Did he say TWO HUNDRED and SIXTY TWO??????

I


End file.
